The Last One

Do I love you? You ask this as if a woman who didn’t would be doing the crazy things I am. And you don’t see it. And I have accepted that the universe does this party trick called “right person wrong time”. Sadly at the end of this trick, there is no “ahhhh” or “aha!” just silence. Deafening silence. Or a bunch of whatsapp statuses trying to hurt you and a bunch of cuss words because proper words fail when your heart is breaking.

Do I love you? Do you hear my heart being skinned off of its flesh? No. No you don’t. Partially deaf? We’ll never know. Here is a picture: It sounds like breathless sobs being cut short by empty promises and being stabbed in the throat by lies and betrayal of trust. Communication is key huh? Yeah, so you drive the key into my chest- silence, your favourite language. I have not even the slightest of energy to make a loud cry. No point, when my tears fall shamefully into the palm of the man who seems to not see. Not see anything wrong with his actions.

Do I love you? You ask like I haven’t stood there and watched you do with her, all the things I wish you would with me. And stayed loyal to a fault. Now I wish I hadn’t. Now my loyalty, once a quality I was so proud of is the reason for my pain; my disappointment and my anger.

Do I love you? With everything said above, I have concluded that… I cannot give anything more. Whatever love is to you, pursue it. Maybe, maybe our definitions differ. While mine consists of openly communicating with clarity and honesty, yours is about carefully crafting things so much, you run out of the love component and hurt people instead.

Do I love you? After this? Maybe about time I keep something to myself. You might just be the best collection of poetry. And I’ll name it, “Things my daughter needs to know about men like you”.

Severed ties

Ties forever severed
On a cold platter served.
Her heart uncovered,
Feelings unreserved.

He dove undercover,
Played ‘the man she deserved’.
She said he was forever,
He had something else planned.

She was her other four leaf clover,
But she played to his plan.
By the time this blew over,
She was the biggest joke in the land.

Life, painfully uncovered,
The true intent of this man.
Ties forever severed,
On a cold platter served.

The Breaking of A Beautiful Dawn

Most people claim to become heartless after a heartbreak.
I think that’s the cheapest excuse to treat someone new in your life, wrong.
I think that having experienced a heartbreak makes you the better person.

It proves that you feel;
it proves that you are strong enough to trust yourself to be vulnerable;
it proves that your deeds of affection and
your feelings are deeper than you ever thought they were.

Heartbreaks are a show of strength.
Heartbreaks are an even better reason to power on, knowing you are worthy of love, and you are capable of love.

A heartbreak is never a loss, but a chance to reflect, and a chance to grow.
A heartbreak is a great excuse for light to seep through the cracks and illuminate.

“Most people claim to be heartless after a heartbreak. I think that’s a cheap excuse.”

Yvette Renagi